Tag Archives: wine

>Speed dating…

31 Aug

>Been thinking about trying out speed dating? My diplomatic but also honest answer: try it. If nothing else, you GOTTA do it for the story.

The first time I did it (speed dating that is) I met a male hooker. I figured there was no where to go but up.

Because I’m exhausted and watching Chelsea lately, I will fill you in on the aftermath and save the actual Speed Date recap for manana.

We got there at 7:30. Started by 7:50 and were done before 9.

Note: There are no places to get food on Canal Street open at 9pm. Not even Burger King.

Consensus: Speed Dating is like shopping at Kohls. It seems like a decent idea but always kinda “eh.”

So after agreeing that everyone was lame but the event was entertaining, we went back to our apartments. Aka I was at the pizza place below my apartment.

KG: (in response to a group text btwn 4 of the 5 sixteen daters) KP, do you remember that guy rich, I think I have him as a maybe? What do you think.

KP: Yeah, I put him as a question mark too. He was a totally decent sweater at Kohls.

Lessons learned:

1. Despite the “decent, but not even that amazing deals,” it’s not time to shop at Kohls.
2. Don’t trust the guy at the pizza place on “his favorite” slice.
3. Pretending that you aren’t going to eat the entire slice before you get to the fifth floor isn’t fooling anyone.
4. Red wine does not cure heartburn.

Oh and detailed character recap coming soon. One dude said he was from Pluto.


>And you’re not gonna reach my telephone

23 Aug

So I’m drinking some wine right now alone in my apt (the same bottle I had last night while watching Secretary alone in my apt) and am regretting calling Cameron 4 hours ago.

My plan was to invite him out to a “casual” night out with friends in Central Park to see Fame this week. I basically invited a bunch of my friends and told them they had to come and laugh at all of my jokes.

Cameron didn’t answer. And I left a short and sweet voicemail telling him I had a proposition for him (but no mention of what it was). It’s four hours later and still. no. response.

Shit. KT, I know you said a phone call wasn’t too girlfriendy, but I’m thinking it may have been too much for Cammy to handle…

He’s probs on a Sundate RIGHT NOW.

>Off the deep end

21 Aug

>So it finally happened. I spilled red wine on the white couch. Ok so maybe not the “white” couch. Our couch is now, an unfortunate shade of pink.

Last week I had to send an email to my roomate’s boyfriend:

Do not be alarmed…

…when you come to our apt on Saturday night, and our couch is PINK. No, a burglar did not break in and tie die the couch. It’s a long story. Well, its not really, I basically apparently can’t do laundry. But there is vod in the freezer and olives in the fridge. See you both next week.

Last week the couch changed because of domestic stupidity. This week, because I am sitting at home on a Friday night watching/renting an embarrassing movie and just got lazy.

To make matters worse, I am not only watching a Rom-Com, but a really bad one. “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” (classic). “Guess who?” (comedy). “Family Wedding” (The knock off of the remix that I can’t believe/am sadly satisfied that I just paid $4.99 for).

I also hate how much this ridiculously stereotypical movie only reminds how much I truly love and am obsessed with Mariachis.

To top it all off, today, my diet has consisted of: Fruit, 4 giant cookies, 7 spoonfuls of rotel dip, a Corona light, ½ bag of chips, 2 glasses of wine, 2 string cheeses, a few (FINE, more than a few) spoonfuls of Ben and Jerry’s.

So I’m officially off the deep end, in every respect. But thankfully, not literally, or else I’d sink.

And they call Friday night “date night….”

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