Tag Archives: omfg

>OMFG. best. email. ever.

10 Sep

>So i got this email today from my friend who works in analytics. And I started laughing out loud.

A) because its awesome
B) because its proof someone wastes as much time as me with this blog

Subject: Just for fun

So I’m trying to create some word clouds for a client project so I’m learning to use a new tool. In order test my skills I needed to make a couple examples. And instead of being really bored doing this, I decided to be entertained and create a word cloud based off the conversations on SD. I might say, this turned out rather interesting. See attached.

Here are the top 5 things I learned about your blog while doing this and in typical analytical fashion a few recommendations for life optimization:

KG:
You are the center of conversations. Your initials clearly represent a large portion of the conversations either because you post a lot and/or you’re referenced a lot. Thank you for being an entertaining friend.

** Recommendation: None, keep being you.

Speed (dating):
This also covered a large portion of conversations. While there were only a few actual experiences, they resulted in a large number of references and comments.

** Recommendation: While the results of said speed dating may not be rewarding, this attributes to a good amount of writing material.

Thought/Think:
This can 100% validate what was said during this week’s Wednesday Wakeup Call; ladies, we think way too much.

** Recommendation: Stop thinking (is that even possible, I mean we are girls after all)

Drink:
Dead center of the word cloud and rather large. No explanation needed.

** Recommendation: Nothing much we can do about this one, I think this is a large portion of our lives, our friendships, and of course the success of any date.

Victory:
This is way too small and conversely, Failed is nearly double the size. You ladies should have way more victories than this shows!

** Recommendation: Give yourselves some credit, you all have had some big victories! Also, let’s work on the guy selection for the next challenge so you don’t have to use the word fail so often.

>Date Recap: CFH Date #2

31 Aug

>How we met:
M and I know each other through a mutual friend. We’ve met in the past but never really hung out one on one. We found each other on okcu (“research” on both our parts) and decided to get a drink.

About him:
M is a radio producer in his late 20s, lives in Clinton Hill. Handsome, charming, smart. He also always seems to be dating someone new.

Date:
Since M was sent the link to this blog by our friend (NOT by me, ladies!), I can’t say much. He promised not to read it, but if I were in his shoes I would probably read it anyway…so…I’ll just say that for some reason I was dreading it, but ended up having a really lovely time. I’m looking forward to round 2, which will hopefully involve tequila. (Because he’s a fan, not because I’m an alcoholic).

Now, for the funniest part of the evening:

Towards the end of the night, he admitted that he’d read our blog and had a confession. I’m blushing, of course, because boys aren’t supposed to read any of this shit. And, a confession?! That doesn’t sound good. Has he read my embarrassing posts and decided there’s no chance he’ll ever be seen with me again? Did he ask me out just to get my numbers up, because he noticed I was trailing on the leaderboard? (I was on vacation! And joined late!, I’m thinking.)

No. He was reading through the blog and realized that he is Midwest Man. Yes, that’s right – of KP Date #3 and possible booty call fame.

I mean, really?!?! Really. Just my luck. Does our rendez-vous even count as Date #2, given our no recycling policy? Comments, please.

>Creatively Dating. Creatively Dissed.

21 Aug

>Ok so with this being the “new age” of dating and all, we are obviously on all kinds of sites, trying new things and new ways to meet people.

The lowdown
I get a message from this chick on one of the sites I’ve tried. She basically plays matchmaker for singles in NYC. Oh yeah and it gets published.

So I think, sure, why not.

I go to the office, take a quick pic and she tells me she’s got a great guy she thinks I’ll be super interested in and asks my schedule the next week. And then that was the last I heard.

What happened next
Since I was 2-4 and nearer than farther from the finish line, I decided to go back to my email chain with her this week and push my pride to the side (well farther to the side than it already is) and follow up. In one of her emails she had included a link. I clicked on the link which clicked on my mortification.

There it was. A picture of me, 2 other girls and my potential date. It’s like a mini “The Bachelor” on crack. He gets pics and profiles of 3 honeys, and makes his choice.

Things that make you go hmm, or, OMFG:
1. First line of my description: She is easy like a Sunday morning. Sure, I told ‘em I loved brunch. But the header “She is easy” is italicized. Crap.
2. The boy is a male nurse (Greg’s a male nurse) with ridiculously over groomed eybrows.
3. The fact that I haven’t been contacted, means he didn’t pick me. And he’s a male nurse.
4. The other candidates are a 21 year old or an auditor, 24.
5. I just got out picked by someone YOUNGER than me, one of which may not have been able to legally drink 2 weeks ago. I’m too young to be worrying about younger girls, that’s what our 30’s and 40’s are for.
6. All of this is online and in print where people I know or could meet in the future can see.

So clearly I send this mortified update to a few of my girls and get the typical

“Ew, he’s not even cute.”
“You should be so GLAD he didn’t pick you.”

And all the appropriate banter.

Then C comes to a little revalation. There’s a poll on the bottom. She decides to vote for me. And then we see THIS:


SIX percent?!?!?! Ok getting rejected by Cindy Crawford’s eyebrows in scrubs is one thing, but six percent approval from the REST of society?? Holy Fail Blog.

Ok, but percentages are always scued. I mean probably only like 5 ppl took the survey. EIGHTY SIX?? FIVE VOTES out of EIGHTY six. Well really 3. 2 of them came from my friends.

CFH: I just voted and now you’re up to 9%. That’s something.

In any case, this epic fail prompted us to add an even more useless blog as a shout out to some emails from a few friends expressing that this blog has now become an extreme time suck (for better and worse). So ladies, take a vote, here’s hoping for six percent…

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