Tag Archives: mozzarella sticks

Aaaaaand we’re back.

16 Feb
I may or may not have just woken up in a pile of mozzarella sticks.

Roll over to find a sweet lil thang in my bed, sleeping peacefully on a pillow of ketchup-covered napkins.

Look around the room to make sure I made it home with the essentials: glasses, computer, and KP. Check.

Pick up my phone to survey last night’s damage. Not surprised to find a sent box full of regretsies. Will deal with that later.

Sit up to chug water and realize I can’t feel my ass. Panic before remembering yesterday’s painful workout class.

Pop 4 Advil and turn on 30 Rock. Laugh at everything that comes out of Liz Lemon’s mouth.

Go back to sleep. Dream of Alec Baldwin getting me preggers.

Wake up, 30 seconds of sadness upon realizing it was just a dream. Quickly recover.

Spend 20 minutes deciding the most appropriate 11am hangover delivery. Consult others via text, sushi beats burrito.

Put on pants. Realize I need to be at the office in an hour. Realize I overpromised when I committed to being in on a Saturday.

Look out the window at the gorgeous people headed to Fashion Week. Decide to take shower.

Wash my hair to Katy Perry on repeat. Remember taking over the DJ’s turn tables at the bar last night.

Remember more not-so-flattering details from last night.

Try to find good excuse for poor behavior.
Try to find a way to apologize to everyone.
Try to find motivation to do it all again.

Remember SixteenDates.

Ladies and gents, we’re back. Bigger and sluttier than ever.

 

 

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: