Tag Archives: male nurse

>Oh. JUNK…Rematch?

1 Sep

>So for anyone who remembers my 6% approval rating disasterpiece, there is a potential for a rematch.

That’s right, while reading through all of yesterday’s amazing updates and newfound Midwestern Hottie fame, I get THIS email:

Hi KG!

I hope you’re doing well. I am starting to put together this week’s “column” and I think I have another good match for you! He’s very cute and has an awesome job as an auction house expert.

I would like to feature you as a choosee. If you’re chosen for the date it would mean that you’d need to be available one night in the next week and a half for the date.

Please let me know that you are available!

Ok several things:

1. Heard it all before.

2. WTF is an auction house expert? (Trying to decide if this will be a step above or below getting rejected by a male nurse)

3. The amount of times I’ve listened to Backstreet Boys in the last week has exceeded “oh, what a fun throwback” status, so I’m not sure I’m in any place to judge.

4. I DO need ONE more date in the next two weeks. And I’m out of town the next 5 days.

5. I tried googling the answer to question 2, but I got bored.

6. Why am I always a choosee, but never a choose-ER? I feel like Katherine Hiegel circa 27 dresses, but way less hot and with less closet space (That one’s for you Charisse)

So my question is, do I pretend to listen to my pride for once, or go back to old faithful “everything we do, we do for the story,” and go for round two? Ladies?? Anyone else who still reads this??


>Creatively Dating. Creatively Dissed.

21 Aug

>Ok so with this being the “new age” of dating and all, we are obviously on all kinds of sites, trying new things and new ways to meet people.

The lowdown
I get a message from this chick on one of the sites I’ve tried. She basically plays matchmaker for singles in NYC. Oh yeah and it gets published.

So I think, sure, why not.

I go to the office, take a quick pic and she tells me she’s got a great guy she thinks I’ll be super interested in and asks my schedule the next week. And then that was the last I heard.

What happened next
Since I was 2-4 and nearer than farther from the finish line, I decided to go back to my email chain with her this week and push my pride to the side (well farther to the side than it already is) and follow up. In one of her emails she had included a link. I clicked on the link which clicked on my mortification.

There it was. A picture of me, 2 other girls and my potential date. It’s like a mini “The Bachelor” on crack. He gets pics and profiles of 3 honeys, and makes his choice.

Things that make you go hmm, or, OMFG:
1. First line of my description: She is easy like a Sunday morning. Sure, I told ‘em I loved brunch. But the header “She is easy” is italicized. Crap.
2. The boy is a male nurse (Greg’s a male nurse) with ridiculously over groomed eybrows.
3. The fact that I haven’t been contacted, means he didn’t pick me. And he’s a male nurse.
4. The other candidates are a 21 year old or an auditor, 24.
5. I just got out picked by someone YOUNGER than me, one of which may not have been able to legally drink 2 weeks ago. I’m too young to be worrying about younger girls, that’s what our 30’s and 40’s are for.
6. All of this is online and in print where people I know or could meet in the future can see.

So clearly I send this mortified update to a few of my girls and get the typical

“Ew, he’s not even cute.”
“You should be so GLAD he didn’t pick you.”

And all the appropriate banter.

Then C comes to a little revalation. There’s a poll on the bottom. She decides to vote for me. And then we see THIS:

SIX percent?!?!?! Ok getting rejected by Cindy Crawford’s eyebrows in scrubs is one thing, but six percent approval from the REST of society?? Holy Fail Blog.

Ok, but percentages are always scued. I mean probably only like 5 ppl took the survey. EIGHTY SIX?? FIVE VOTES out of EIGHTY six. Well really 3. 2 of them came from my friends.

CFH: I just voted and now you’re up to 9%. That’s something.

In any case, this epic fail prompted us to add an even more useless blog as a shout out to some emails from a few friends expressing that this blog has now become an extreme time suck (for better and worse). So ladies, take a vote, here’s hoping for six percent…

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