Tag Archives: date 4

>Going once. Going twice. Sold!

15 Sep

>First things first. Tonight is date numba 4, y’all! That’s right. I’m crossing that finish line with 3 hours to spare. Ain’t no shame in that.

Now to recap today’s events.

I just started a new job and had to go to orientation today. It started with the inevitable and dreaded icebreaker activity where we had to pick someone’s name out of a jar, find that person, and barrage them with a bunch of questions so we could introduce them to the rest of the group. This may have been somewhat enticing had the prospects in that jar not consisted of all women and a mere 2 men.

A woman named T found me and I gave her all the standard responses (i.e. when I graduated from grad school, where I grew up, how long I’ve lived in NY, etc). She then asked me, “Is there anything else?” When I gave her a quizzical look, she asked, “Like are you married? Single?” I was like, “Oh, I”m single.” Guh. Does this really have to come up right now??! She smiled.

Everyone began introducing each other and reciting one impressive resume after the next (i.e. “So-and-So graduated with a doctorate from Harvard and a post-doc from Yale. He/she is director of psychiatric testing at the Albert Ellis Institute”).

When it came to T’s turn, she opened with, “This is KP. She’s a single lady in the city!!!!” Everyone awkwardly laughed and looked my way as I smiled and waved my hand (trying to own it) feeling as if I were being auctioned off as a date at a charity event.

Thanks, T. Never had I detested icebreakers as much as at that moment. (Sidenote: One of my old supervisors was there and just stared at me like, “WHAT??!”)

Fortunately, the day got better when the NYFD came in to give us CPR training. We each got our own blow-up doll (to take home). See Exhibit A.

Let’s just say I blew him on the floor. And on the table. I think this is one for the DTC board (and maybe the DTD board).

Advertisements

>H to the izzo, F to the izzor

8 Sep

>That’s right homies. I’m ‘bout-sta Pop Lock and Drop this biz (aka my fake swagger/dating challenge) across the fin-ash line.

Reasons why friends are the BOMB.COM: you tell them you are in a bind and they stand and deliver.

However, sometimes, over deliver?

Me: OMG, I only have a week to get date #4, and I have no idea how I’ll do it.

Enter awesome friend(s) from SF, M and M….

M sends this email to a guy that is currently in NYC for an abbreev amt of time:

Well here’s the story – my amazing superstar friend from Duke, KG has been challenged to going on 7 blind dates in 7 weeks by her empathetic non-single friends who are mostly angling for some voyeuristic drama in their lives. Not one to turn down a challenge of any sort, KG is approaching week seven of this epic date-a-thon. Given that you are both fun happy cool creative ppl and that you will be in NYC for a few more days, I thought I would set you up for KG’s 7th blind date 🙂

Right.

Amazing. Wait. What? What challenge? Why seven dates? What’s so special about 7?? I’m down with G-O-D but did he create this dating challenge? Or is this a Brad Pitt movie? I don’t know how to approach any questions, comments or concerns.

So I am UUBER grateful – as I would never have secured date Numba Fo otherwise (…but forreal I wouldn’t). That said, I also realized that other ppl being creative is dangerous for several reasons:

1. Holy ish. He may/is gonna ask how dates 1-6 went

2. Holy ish. He may/is gonna ask why I have a 7 date/week challenge

3. Wait, why DO I have a 7 date/week challenge?

4. Wait if I did, would I have 7 empathetic friends?

5. Apparently not since it took me 2 moths to get 4 dates

6. Eff my friends

7. OMG friends don’t leave me, I need you for more dates

8. At least wine (both red and white) is always my friend. That and re-runs of How I met your Mother

9. Sigh.

So “blind date with creative guy” is tmrw and I have to say, I’m excited. There’s something kinda nice about knowing nothing about it.

Expecting the worst, but hoping for something interesting to blog about. So if anyone else has some friends to send our way, bring em on.

Until then, lets see how lucky numero cuatro goes.

Oh, and after all that talk, kinda thinking somehting like this SHOULD be our next challenge. Good thinking M…

>So, are you lesbians, or fag-hags?

3 Sep

>Wait, so after two months of failed dating in NYC, these are my only two options now?

Let me back up by saying that I am essentially on a couple’s retreat with my roommate CW. We always joke that we are “life-partners” or each other’s significant others (even though she now has a real BF so we sometimes have to re-evaluate) but never before had we encountered actually being considered a couple.

Several interesting/hilarious facts that contribue to this:

1. We decided to take a labor day vacation to San Francisco

2. She was going due to a work trip and I decided to tag along for the free hotel room/free cabs

3. We have a day activity planned with her parents

4. We are having brunch with her boss and her boss’s family

5. She told me I was welcome to come to any of the work convention events, but that it might be kind of weird

6. I responded “of course, that’s totally unprofessional”

7. She responded, “no, its not that, it’s just the nature of the conference…”

Yes, my female roommate and I are at national convention for lesbian and gay journalists.

Before I left NYC, I was reading the blog at work and one of my old bosses came by. When he asked “what are you doing?” I quickly clicked any other window besides the blog to avoid being outted.

Of course, the document behind it was the word doc CW sent me outlining our trip entitled “KG and CW’s Lesbian Vacation” due to the ridiculously hilarious circumstances.

After a moment of silence he said, “so, are you a lesbian?” Despite me trying to laugh it off, say “NOOO” and explain the whole story, it seems like I was worried about being “outted” in all the wrong ways. Apparently “herway” being on my screen has a whole new meaning.

Although we are having an amazing time, this is not helping my chances with the challenge. Last night we not only got asked “so…are you lessies or fag-hags” but we got approving looks from many other gay couples (I mean, we looked hot) and went to an after party involving copious amounts of champagne and cheesy pop.

At lunch today:

Me: That waitress totes thinks we’re together

CW: That’s because we just ordered a bottle of wine for lunch and the only aphrodisiac on the menu.

I mean, I kinda wanted to throw this on the DTC (does this count?) board ,but I felt that I couldn’t justify a lessie vacay as a real date. I mean, we do have separate beds afterall.

So when I get back to NYC I will have only a week to find and land a final date with a guy who’s eyebrows aren’t more sculpted than mine…

If you guys have any suggestions, please let me know. For now, napping off today’s gluttony.

%d bloggers like this: