>Mr. MONDAY on: Making the first move

23 Aug

>Trying to be a good sport after being asked to be a guest blogger on SixteenDates, I thought it might be interesting for you all to see how other women are making the first move in the online dating world, so I created a free trial account on Match.com to see what would come of it.

Within the first couple days, I had a couple of interesting emails that, surely against their will, I’ve decided to share with you all to see the approaches other fish in the sea are taking.

SUBJECT: (none)

Team of Rivals is an amazing book! I read that around the same time that I read Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln’s Killer. Also great, if you are on a Lincoln kick. I think that it’s awesome that you are into climbing. I have wanted to get into climbing for a while now and haven’t had the chance. If you know of a great place to learn in NYC, please share!

So, a little about me, I work in finance. My job is crazy intense and don’t have much free time. I spend what time I do have working out and seeing friends. On weekends, I try to get outside as much as possible and love going for long bike rides. Otherwise, I am a pretty regular girl – love hanging out with friends, dancing, eating good food. I have been able to travel fairly extensively and am getting the travel itch again, which is unfortunate because I won’t be able to take vacation for a while.



This is by far the best one, not only because she obviously knows about the oh-so-sexy Honest Abe, but because it shows she can probably discuss more than Justin Bieber at dinner.

1. Tactically, there isn’t something to keep the conversation going – a direct question or hook.

2. Everyone in NYC is busy and it isn’t great to highlight that you have the travel bug but don’t have time to travel.

(NOTE: I actually wrote her back and it turns out she’s went to Tufts (so did I), works at 48th and 8th (I live at 49th and 9th), and studied Mechanical Engineering (so did I).

SUBJECT: but everythings bigger in TEXAS!

Times are a changin and its time for you to get your BIG TEX on! Haha. have you ever been to Dallas? I’ve never been to NY but have always wanted to go.


None, except that this gem lives 1500 miles away.

Subject: (none)

i really love your profile. feel free to email me=)

Nice compliment about the profile and the invitation to email her is welcoming, but if you’re going to initiate the conversation, you should do it with a little more gusto than just saying “feel free to impress me.”

I think I am over your age bracket but thought I would try it anyway…
I love to surf.. although have not done it for a while and thought we had some stuff in common


DANGER: You’re entering cougar country.

Subject: (none)
What happened to the girl from the inauguration? Did she invite you to that thing because I noticed “politics” isn’t listed as one of your interests or profession.

And by the way, you’re very attractive.

She seems cute enough and I obviously loved the last line. But the first sentence raised some serious jealousy red flags by immediately asking about ex-girlfriends (though that’s probably partly my fault for posting a picture with a girl in it).

Not really sure what I’m supposed to say here, but…how was your week? How did you pick up ice-climbing?


I actually liked this one. Simple and straight forward. And she’s from London!

Subject: So …
are you really living in NYC? I’m confused because you came up under my filter in Chicago?


I’m confused also…

Bottom Line:
The majority of the people who emailed had the exact same response about how they always wanted to try rock climbing (had a picture of me climbing) and how they like to travel. Some of them were literally almost identical, word for word.

I guess it’s difficult to craft a good first impression based upon a poorly structured paragraph or two and a few pictures, but I think the most important thing is that they went out on a limb to say hello. My attitude towards everyone who emailed changed when I knew that they had some interest in me.

Do any of you ladies have any secrets for making the first move online?

— Mr. Monday

For any questions or comments for this week’s Mr. Monday or to get in the running to be a future Mr. M, please send inquiries to sixteendates (at) gmail.com. See you next Monday. Or, I guess, MAN-day (thanks C!)


One Response to “>Mr. MONDAY on: Making the first move”

  1. KT August 24, 2010 at 4:35 am #

    >Dear Mr. Monday,Seriously, this is the best you could get? My vote goes to Liz. Get it on the cal. We want an update next Manday. Love, KT

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